I've done this for too many consecutive nights to not do something about it.  See, as tired as I am at the end of every day, I often spend hours lying awake in bed because my brain just WILL NOT SHUT OFF.  I'm pretty sure I get my best ideas when I'm lying awake in bed at 11pm (or 1am, or 3:47am...) wanting nothing more than to fall asleep (yeah, I know, welcome to the club, that happens to everyone, so I've heard, etc, etc), but I never do anything about it.  There are two reasons: a) I always manage to convince my sleep-deprived brain that if these ideas are really all that fantasmagorical, I will surely remember them in the morning (of course I never do), and b) I have this irrational fear that if I start trying to write anything down, I'll be too distracted by the process of writing to remember all of my ideas.  Technically, this isn't actually an irrational fear, because as I'm discovering *at this very moment*, it's completely true that I've forgotten most of what I was thinking before I pulled out my computer to try to record what I'm thinking (raise your hand if you followed that).  HOWEVER, it is really stupid, because I KNOW that if I don't write stuff down, I won't remember it, so it's 100% better to try to write and only be able to record, oh, say 30% of what I'm thinking, than to not write and forget 100% of that 30%, PLUS all that other stuff.  Yay for math!

In an effort to remember as much as possible, here are summaries of some of the things I've been thinking in the last hour or so, in bullet form to be (possibly) expounded upon at a later time:
~ I really need to start blogging again
~Maria is so talented at poetry and life and other stuff ---> I have regained some faith in my generation
~I miss talking to my friends - can you call people your friends if you hardly ever talk to them and sometimes it's awkward when you do, but mostly you just really really love them and don't want them to ever stop being a part of your life? (And that is a whole 'nuther story...)
~Am I uncreative?  Is that different from just not being creative?  Witnessing my friends' incredible creativity has led me to believe that I am either uncreative or not creative or possibly just not as smart as I thought I was.
~I'm growing up too fast, and at the same time not fast enough.  I have all these Responsible Adult responsibilities, like my jobs, and things I've promised people I'd do, and paying my credit card bills, and dealing with doctors, and not pissing off my mom (since I'm now Officially An Eighteen-Year-Old Living In Her Parents' House And Mooching Off Them {even though I have a legitimate reason to do so}); I can handle the responsibilities, but when I do, other things like trying to be creative and maintaining friendships fall by the wayside.  ---> I'm afraid of turning into my mother.
~This is turning into less of a bullet list and more of a series of paragraphs separated by whatever these ~ squiggles are called.
~Also, these aren't ideas, they're things I'm worried about.
~Ideas are more like the following:
-Turn costume-making into a profitable venture
-Finish Debbie's prayer shall
-Pray more in general
-And dammit, now this is just turning into a to-do list...

I can't do this.